Avoid Premature Ejaculation

What is Premature Ejaculation?

Over the years there have been many attempts to classify exactly what defines "premature ejaculation". In simplest terms, it is when a man ejaculates "too early" during sex. The specific definition of "too early" is open to debate. Some have proposed that it can be defined as having intercourse for less than a specific length of time (say, 5 minutes). Others believe it should be defined by how often the man is able to bring his partner to orgasm (say, less than half the time).

Both of these suggestions fall short, however. The first because both partners may be satisfied quickly, and there would be nothing wrong with that. The second because some women are unable to orgasm through intercourse no matter how long it lasts.

It is most often agreed today that premature ejaculation can simply defined as this: a man ejaculating before he (and the woman he has intercourse with) wants to.

What Causes It

Men, Get Control of Your Hose

There is no clear understanding of what causes premature ejaculation. In a simple sense, there is no great biological need for men to have intercourse for a long period of time, so it may simply be that many men are wired up to get the job done quickly, and it is only our socially developed ideas of sexual intercourse that make men feel they aren't living up to an ideal. Some men have found that they are more likely to experience premature ejaculation when they are nervous. Others report that they are more likely to experience premature ejaculation when they are with a partner they are more emotionally intimate with, and less likely when having casual sex. It is pretty clear, though, that the problem is mostly psychological rather than physiological. In other words, there is no evidence that there is anything wrong with the plumbing.

How Many Men are Affected?

Premature Ejaculation is one of the more taboo topics of discussion among men. Most people have heard of it, but virtually nobody admits to actually having it. Because of this unwillingness to discuss the topic openly, it is difficult to determine how many men are actually affected. Estimates range from 1/3 to 2/3 of all men experience premature ejaculation at least at some points in their life.

Overcoming Premature Ejaculation

There are many techniques promoted to help overcome premature ejaculation. They range from taking dietary supplements, to using special topical creams, to various exercises. One must take caution, though, as many of the supposed solutions do not work, and some are outright scams playing on men's fear of sexual inadequacy.

• In some cases, just using a condom can help, as it reduces stimulation.
• It is not clear that any dietary supplement helps with premature ejaculation.
• Some of the desensitizing creams may work, but will also drastically reduce pleasure and may also cause the woman's sexual organs to become desensitized.
• Train your ischiocavernosus muscle to hold an erection.
• Exercise methods appear to have the most documented success.

Exercise Methods

It is documented that the most effective means of self-improvement is through exercise. The most common method used is the stop-start method and the closely related squeeze-method. A full explanation can be found online, and anyone interested in trying this technique should read a complete article about it. The basic idea, though, is to bring oneself close to orgasm, but then stop all stimulation and allow oneself to relax until the urge to ejaculate has passed. Stimulation can then be resumed. It is usually recommended that this cycle be carried through several times during each practice session, and that one should practice regularly for months. The form of stimulation can develop over time -- oftentimes it is recommended that one start with dry masturbation, and once control is achieved there, to move on to lubricated masturbation, and eventually onto actual oral sex or intercourse, continuing the stop-start exercises with a partner. This method is claimed to be highly effective.

Antidepressants

SSRIs, such as Paxil & Zoloft, are known to cause prolonged erection & delay ejaculation. The brain chemistry that is affected by these compounds is responsible for both depression & anxiety symptoms, and also influences sexual control (men & women): modifying this with prescription drugs can relieve those problems, as well as any premature ejaculation. However, if you had no problem with control before, you might find it harder to "get off" now (women may develop orgasmic difficulty as well on these meds).

Special Anaesthetics

Durex Performa Condoms

Stud 100 Desensitising Spray

Many men with premature ejaculation, or those who simply want to go longer, employ anaesthetics. This may sound a bit radical, but they are easy to get hold of. There is a special type of condom called Durex performa which contains a mild anaesthetic in its tip.

If you do not want to use a condom, various sprays are available. All of these products must be applied to the head of the penis (i.e. roll back you foreskin if you have one).

When Nothing Works

There are many men who still aren't able to achieve the desired level of control even after following an exercise schedule. For these men it can become a real point of embarassment. They can feel rather isolated, ashamed, and emasculated. It has certainly caused many a strained sexual relationship. This is unfortunate because there are ways of getting around the problem.

In addition to the items discussed above, one could still experience a healthy sex life even with premature ejaculation. A man could learn to use his hands and mouth to bring his partner to orgasm. Some women actually prefer this, and for some women it is the only way they can achieve orgasm. Thus a man with premature ejaculation could satisfy his partner, and then engage in brief intercourse to satisfy himself. If both partners are comfortable with this, it can lead to a healthy sex life.

Another technique that is not discussed very often is for the man to learn to have multiple orgasms. This takes a good degree of self-control, but can be mastered by anyone. The technique is simply to pull out right at the beginning of the orgasm, stop all stimulation (no touching the penis) and to relax as much as possible. If done correctly, the penis will still partially ejaculate, and the man will have a partial orgasm. But as long as he doesn't have a full orgasm and doesn't flex or tighten his pelvic muscles too much, he should be able to clean up and continue intercourse without losing his erection. Men who do this have found that they can usually last longer the second and third times around. This usually results in plenty of intercourse for both partners, and the man can still finish off with a full orgasm at the end if he's lucky.

In the end there are both solutions and work arounds to premature ejaculation. It is a very common problem, and men who have it need not feel inadequate as long as they are willing to try. If desperate, don't give up. Use the advice from Gianni M. from Venice. He has written a personal report on how to overcome early climax, where he shares his own private experiences with early ejaculation.

Related Websites

• University of California, Santa Barbara's SexInfo Discusses Causes and Treatments for Premature Ejaculation
• Reference on Premature Ejaculation, with method descriptions
• Two simple methods to prevent premature ejaculation.
• Keeping an erection longer and harder using the ischiocavernosus technique.