Learn How to Masturbate (guys)

From WikiAfterDark
Jump to: navigation, search

So you want to learn to pleasure yourself? You want to learn how to chafe your carrot, squeeze the bishop, say hello to your monster, spank the monkey, choke the chicken, etc. but you really aren't sure what is all involved. Well, sit back, fire up your best porno and get ready to go.

Everybody does it

This section is aimed at the 13 year old who is just learning how to touch themselves. I just wanted to make a quick point that everybody masturbates. The statistics in the United States for males who masturbate is something like 80%, at least. Other studies have cited the figure as being much higher, with one researcher going as far as to say that "90% of men masturbate, and 10% lie". That is staggering, but it also is fairly intuitive. If you are still young, odds are that sex and sex with yourself are still fairly taboo topics with you and your friends. Because of this you won't be able to get an honest portrait about who does what. Trust me when I tell you that everyone masturbates. Some do it less than others, some do it more, but the bottom line is that it would never be a good bet to predict someone doesn't do it. This may disturb you, but even your dad grabs a hold of his lizard every now and then, probably more than that. There is nothing wrong with you and you are not weird.

What is Masturbation

Put simply, masturbation is when you please yourself sexually, bringing about an orgasm at your own hand. So basically you are simulating sex. This can be a powerful form of relaxation, a cure for boredom and just something to do because its fun.

Think or watch something

One of the things that makes masturbation so much fun is the fact that it revolves so heavily around wish fulfilment. When you are alone with yourself at night, you can pretend that good old righty is anyone. That little hottie in your algebra class can do some really nasty things in your mind and for a brief couple of minutes if you have a good imagination you can do just about anything with anyone. Sometimes it's nice to actually look at the real thing and that is where pornography comes in. People don't watch porn because they think its fun and most people don't watch porn so that they can relax and enjoy being turned on. If you are turned on, it gets painful if you can't do anything about it. That's why porn isn't all that fun to watch with your friends.

Wish Fulfilment

As I said, masturbating is about wishfulfilment. The key to having a good time masturbating is the same as it is to having a good sexual relationship with a partner, variety! If you always think about that girl you make subs with at your local sandwich shop, try thinking about your lab partner. Try thinking about people you may not think that you find attractive. What I mean is if you are into really regular girls, think about a cheerleader or think about someone you would consider extraordinary. Whatever you're used to, mix it up. A lot of people who are in extremely commited relationships find themselves unable to think about anyone but their girlfriend. Don't worry, there are plenty of things you can do to shake things up. Try a little S&M (sadism & masochism) fantasy or try thinking about her blowing you one night, while the next you are riding her like a cowboy. Be creative and don't let masturbation turn into just a chore. A lot of people masturbate before they go to sleep at night just out of habit. Make it something you look forward to, make it something you can't wait to do.


If you have never seen any porn before, then stop reading this article right now and go watch/look at some. Honestly, porn should not become an obsession, however it is definitely something that should be in your life in moderate amounts. If you are living with your parents and they have installed one of those child blocking programs like net nanny or something like that, head on over to our parent site, WannaWiki and see if they have an an article on disabling those programs. Porn is an extremely useful tool when masturbating, especially when you're younger and inexperienced. While porn is not great for staying in touch with reality on how things should be done, it can give you plenty of ideas. Plus, it is just fun to watch, especially while you're peeling your cucumber. The trick with watching a porn movie is getting the timing down. Since everyone is different on what they find the most attractive, it is delicate timing to get the video to show what you find the most attractive, like a cum shot or something of that nature, while you are cuming. The more you masturbate, the more you'll be able to control and trigger your orgasm, so getting the timing down will be a lot easier.

To Lubricate or Not to Lubricate

Forget Hamlet's dilemma, yours is far more pressing. Do you use a lubricant or not? If you haven't tried using a lubricant yet, then you really need to try. In terms of which experience is better, there is no question that it is when you use a lubricant. A very good lubricant to use is AstroGlide. KY is by far the most popular, but people who have used both side overwhelmingly with the AstroGlide. The main problem with using a lubricant is that it creates a real mess. This is not ideal if you are doing it before you go to bed, in a place where you may need to cover up easily, etc. If you have the house to yourself for a few hours, it would probably be a really good experience to throw in a porn, grab a bottle of lubricant and settle yourself in on the couch. If you masturbate while you are in the shower then you have a lubricant right there. Get a handful of shampoo and go to town. This has the added benefit of making sure that your penis is nice and clean. Think of it as a deep rub cleaning. If you do end up using shampoo, you may want to consider some lotion since the soap and the "deep cleaning" action will really dry you out down there. Alternately, conditioner also works very well, is also often available, and does not dry you out. Cheap lube: looking for a cheap lubricant? mix one mug of cold water with a rounded tablespoon of cornflour in a saucepan. Heat until it thickens, stirring constantly and preferably not allowing it to boil. Pour into a warm jar (so it doesn't crack) or other container and allow to cool. Voila. One small note, however, is that it will congeal and begin to smell pretty awful after 24 hours so it's best to make it up for when you want it and not make too much (the recipe listed above is probably too much for 'average' usage)

What to do

The Grip

In order to begin masturbating you need to first give yourself an erection. This shouldn't be too hard, odds are if you are masturbating you are doing it because you are turned on to begin with. Pull your pants down and get a good grip on yourself. You want to begin the grip, whatever way you hold it, on the shaft of your penis and have your fingers come up to about the start of your penis head. The grip you use all depends on your style and what feels comfortable for you.

Full Hand

The first and probably the most popular grip is the whole hand grip. To appreciate what this grip looks like hold a pencil, pen, or any long, cylindrical object up in front of you. Now take your dominant hand and wrap your fingers around it so that your palm is facing you (it should be covered by your fingers and the pencil, but where your palm normally would be, its facing you). This is the full hand grip. The advantage of this is that you have more surface contact with the penis which will increase stimulation.

Three Finger

This next method allows you to apply various amount of pressure through out your stroke. With this grip you hold the penis with your middle, thumb and index finger. The index and middle finger going on the back of your cock, with the thumb on the front. Line the index finger up a tiny bit below the head of your cock. With this method you can change up the pressure a various points on the cock, rather than be stuck and an all or none like your hand gives you.

In Public

Whether it be in the back seat of your bus, in the school bathroom, in the movie theatre, or just right behind someone. This type of masturbation is the most fun, because it provides an element of risk. This is method is for all the dare devils, who love living on the verge of getting caught. But don't do it unless you know you wont.

Don't Chafe!!

When you masturbate your hand should not be sliding over the skin, rather it should take the skin with it. This is easier than it sounds. If you are using the three finger method for example, take a firm grip of your penis and then move up and down the shaft. The key here is to hold the penis tight enought that the skin moves too. The result is that your are just moving the skin up an down. This will prevent chafing and is the best way to love yourself when you are not using lube.

Is it possible to do a back to back?

It is possible to do a back to back (trust me, because I can). My technique is to orgasm once by stroking it to soft-core or even clothed women as fast as I can just to orgasm (you may want to not use lube). After the first orgasm quickly start stroking as fast as you can using the same erection and crank it up by putting on hard-core (very good) porn or have your girlfriend do something in front of you or on you, and use lube (but I don't, or I do sometimes use the seamen from the first time) and keep going for at most 30 minutes (if you can go that long, but it only takes me about 3 to 10 minutes to orgasm again). And the second orgasm will feel very, very good; but your arm will get tired unless you're totally buffed out _____________________________________________________________________________ i also have done a back to back but different. use a lube and masturbate to some good porn. keep going till you feel like u gonna cum. hold it in wit all ur might and the cum will still cum out, but u can keep masturbating.